My husband Griff is the first person to be buried at Pembrokeshire Natural Burial Ground. This somehow feels like an extraordinary privilege. Sarah Wickham recently opened her meadow near Haverfordwest, and Griff had decided he wanted a humanist funeral, so I contacted her before he died to discuss possibilities for his untraditional wishes. Having been a sailor and surfer all his life Griff was adamant he wanted to rest near the sea.
I was exhausted and extremely distressed when I contacted Sara, but meeting her felt like a safe haven of steady courage: her support was immeasurable amidst my panic of arranging a funeral. I immediately felt confident because she is an extraordinary young woman with great kindness and understanding, gentle and beautiful. She has a natural gift to help those grieving, and facilitates other peoples’ needs with confidence that comes from years of experience. She enabled me and my daughter to have everything we wished for, from helping contact the funeral director to recommending a local pub for refreshments after the ceremony. We choose to do everything ourselves including driving Griff in his coffin to the field using his old van, having a friend as celebrant instead of Sarah, and 6 family and friends carrying the coffin rather than official pall bearers. Sarah was at hand to help throughout including driving my mum down the road to use a toilet, and organise parking. The weather had been horrendous beforehand so she erected a tent and provided seating for 30 guests. Furthermore we were allowed to toast Griff with a drink - a table for glasses was provided and trestle for the coffin. There was ample parking and a gravel area to congregate.
But extraordinarily, the sun shone. Even after days of rain the field was dry and a track had been mown across to Griff’s grave to make walking easy - though I recommend visitors wear suitable shoes as the ground is bumpy. It is unspoilt nature at its best with panoramic views towards the Preseli hills and you can smell the sea. It is exposed to the elements but tucked in near Keeston village: our Covid cortège of 30 people had to wait for cows crossing the road as we drove through. At the graveside Sarah had removed turf and soil so it was attractive and mud free to stand round whilst we sang a Welsh hymn. When my sister returned the next day with her husband the ground had already been returned to its natural state and turf replaced. It seemed like every detail was carefully considered to make our experience a celebration of joy, as happy as possible.
Griff’s coffin looked beautiful in bamboo and decorated with flowers from my garden. We were made to feel so welcome, yet the the service was private and intimate. My daughter revisited last week on a sunny afternoon and said she felt happy her dad is resting there, under Sarah’s safe watch. I asked if one day I might donate a bench, but Sarah said absolutely no, as this would turn the site into something more municipal and loose its wildness and therefore purpose. Instead, she has made a bench out of a pre-existing farm trough and wall alongside the boundary surrounded by tumbling honeysuckle and wild flowers. She has already planted a native hedge and several wild cherries to provide shelter and introduce more birds and wildlife, and there is a huge insect house into which you can place natural objects such as shells and moss. You are welcome to visit the graveside at any time and can walk dogs there too, or rest with a picnic whilst you remember loved ones.
I intend to be buried beside my husband one day. The process of a natural burial felt just right: human, simple, peaceful- a connection through time with all life on earth. Though Griff was too poorly to ever visit I know he would be thrilled to rest in this special place not far from the sea where his heart sang, looking out into the distant landscape of beautiful West Wales.
Thank you Sarah: I am forever grateful to you for making our loss a little more bearable.
James Leedam
A peaceful and scenic location accessible to all, close to the wonderful Pembrokeshire coast. A perfect place to be.
I was exhausted and extremely distressed when I contacted Sara, but
meeting her felt like a safe haven of steady courage: her support was immeasurable amidst my panic of arranging a funeral. I immediately felt confident because she is an extraordinary young woman with great kindness and understanding, gentle and beautiful. She has a natural gift to help those grieving, and facilitates other peoples’ needs with confidence that comes from years of experience.
She enabled me and my daughter to have everything we wished for, from helping contact the funeral director to recommending a local pub for refreshments after the ceremony. We choose to do everything ourselves including driving Griff in his coffin to the field using his old van, having a friend as celebrant instead of Sarah, and 6 family and friends carrying the coffin rather than official pall bearers. Sarah was at hand to help throughout including driving my mum down the road to use a toilet, and organise parking. The weather had been horrendous beforehand so she erected a tent and provided seating for 30 guests. Furthermore we were allowed to toast Griff with a drink - a table for glasses was provided and trestle for the coffin. There was ample parking and a gravel area to congregate.
But extraordinarily, the sun shone. Even after days of rain the field was dry and a track had been mown across to Griff’s grave to make walking easy - though I recommend visitors wear suitable shoes as the ground is bumpy. It is unspoilt nature at its best with panoramic views towards the Preseli hills and you can smell the sea. It is exposed to the elements but tucked in near Keeston village: our Covid cortège of 30 people had to wait for cows crossing the road as we drove through. At the graveside Sarah had removed turf and soil so it was attractive and mud free to stand round whilst we sang a Welsh hymn. When my sister returned the next day with her husband the ground had already been returned to its natural state and turf replaced. It seemed like every detail was carefully considered to make our experience a celebration of joy, as happy as possible.
Griff’s coffin looked beautiful in bamboo and decorated with flowers from my garden. We were made to feel so welcome, yet the the service was private and intimate. My daughter revisited last week on a sunny afternoon and said she felt happy her dad is resting there, under Sarah’s safe watch. I asked if one day I might donate a bench, but Sarah said absolutely no, as this would turn the site into something more municipal and loose its wildness and therefore purpose. Instead, she has made a bench out of a pre-existing farm trough and wall alongside the boundary surrounded by tumbling honeysuckle and wild flowers. She has already planted a native hedge and several wild cherries to provide shelter and introduce more birds and wildlife, and there is a huge insect house into which you can place natural objects such as shells and moss. You are welcome to visit the graveside at any time and can walk dogs there too, or rest with a picnic whilst you remember loved ones.
I intend to be buried beside my husband one day. The process of a natural burial felt just right: human, simple, peaceful- a connection through time with all life on earth. Though Griff was too poorly to ever visit I know he would be thrilled to rest in this special place not far from the sea where his heart sang, looking out into the distant landscape of beautiful West Wales.
Thank you Sarah: I am forever grateful to you for making our loss a little more bearable.